Marriage

Love Day

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Hubby surprised us with a bouquet of delicious fruit from Edible Arrangements yesterday. It was definitely a most wonderful, unexpected little gift.

The days are long, but the nights are even longer. The babies have been on a weird sleep schedule with Dom being transitioned into Shane’s room and Shane developing a serious case of FOMO and regressing. I’m just walking through a haze of exhaustion and frustrations. I do find moments of happiness and light when babies are sleeping or babies are playing, but Shane’s tantrums are beginning to seriously take their tolls on me. His incessant whining and fake crying at a tone that makes me want to throw my head into a wall combined with Dom being his normal clingy very demanding self, life has just been.. tough lately.

I was talking with our therapist today and they recommended going out to the community group for the program we’re in. “It’s just tough with the two kids,” I said, hesitantly. It’s always difficult whether it be with the two or one. It’s always tough. I really shouldn’t be using the fact that I have two kids to hide from the world and stay in my little comfort bubble. Of course I’d rather be at home watching NCIS or public television or Octonauts with the kids in my pajamas and not have to lug around a backpack of everything. I’d rather keep an eye on them in the small space that is the living room where I know every sound of what they’re getting into and we have the beds right upstairs so they are familiar with their next routines instead of fighting them into their car seats when they’re already exhausted and tired. Part of me knows that going out would help me and the babies have a bit more excitement in our lives, but the other part of me just doesn’t want to deal with it. I do feel like Shane needs to be more social and have more interaction with kids his age so he’s able to absorb more things that are age-appropriate rather than hang out with his younger brother all day. Perhaps I’ll try to make it a point to actually go out to these events in this Facebook group I found myself in.

Life is hard. For everyone. But sometimes I make myself out to be a huge victim and think my life is super hard when, in reality, it’s going pretty smoothly. I need to take charge of my feelings, my thoughts, and my life again.

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