Every night I think about the day we went through. Every night I regret not doing enough for them. Every night I regret not playing with them more. I regret not paying more attention to them. I regret not preventing their boredom, their falls, and their shrieks of frustration. I regret every frustrated scream I aim at them. I regret yelling at them as they try to launch themselves the couches. I regret holding them down during diaper changes as they try to touch their butts and pee pees. I regret not giving them 100% of my attention all the time.
I know I’m doing the best I can. But it doesn’t negate my feelings of inadequacy and failure.