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The Regrets of the Day 

Every evening I lay next to my littlest. I watch his little eyes flutter. I listen to his little sighs amidst his snores. I feel his little fingers and toes twitch. 

Every night I think about the day we went through. Every night I regret not doing enough for them. Every night I regret not playing with them more. I regret not paying more attention to them. I regret not preventing their boredom, their falls, and their shrieks of frustration. I regret every frustrated scream I aim at them. I regret yelling at them as they try to launch themselves the couches. I regret holding them down during diaper changes as they try to touch their butts and pee pees. I regret not giving them 100% of my attention all the time. 

I know I’m doing the best I can. But it doesn’t negate my feelings of inadequacy and failure. 

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One thought on “The Regrets of the Day 

  1. Does it help you at all to know that not only are you not alone in feeling this way, but you are doing a great job? It’s easier somehow to focus on where we think we have failed instead of where we have succeeded. The fact that you care so much means that you are doing at least something right 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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