I believe in awareness for complications within pregnancy and births. I have been seeing a lot of pictures for stillborn babies. Rather than the sadness behind this, many parents have celebrated their babies’ deaths. I am not sure whether I am just hormonal or whether I am absolutely terrified about this baby’s future. Sometimes I fear losing this child. You are never really in the clear until the child is out and a few months out. Even then, you are never really in the clear. Anything can happen at any time. And this terrifies me. I fear that I will go to bed hating the baby’s kicks for keeping me up and wake up to an empty belly. This keeps me up at night. Combine the kicks, the pee breaks, and these fears. I will not sleep well for the next few months.